Things I love right now:

- How she cannot say the word "world." A friend of hers was talking about Sea World the other day, so now every time we drive by it she talks about it, except it comes out "Sea Werd" or "Sea Wurd" and it's so adorable.  She hates it when I correct her, because she can't figure out how to get the "l" sound in there, and it makes her madder than anything you've seen.

- Being reminded at what a weird language English is.  Trying to explain why it's not "more easier" and just "easier" or why we say "brought" instead of "broughten."  Why a K has two sounds but only sometimes; why "CH" is not "keh-ha"; why in this word "C" sounds like an "S."

- How her L's still sometimes sound like Y's.  "In a yittle bit, Mom."  And also sometimes W's.  Her Lulu is "Wuwu" and she was quite upset when I couldn't figure out "wizards" was actually "lizards."

- That she cannot spell, but she can, somehow, or at least the fact that she can put things in context and know exactly what I'm talking about.  She's obsessed right now with getting a rug for the living room.  If we're in an establishment that sells something, anything, she will bring up how she thinks we should buy a rug (grocery store, coffee shop, the YMCA, etc).  And then we were at Ikea yesterday buying some curtains, and I whispered to Matt, "she really thinks we need an r-u-g for the living room.  She hears me (of course she hears me) and says, "A rug, Dad.  We NEED a rug, for the living room."

- How she confuses height with age. "I'm almost your age now, Mom.  I'm past your belly button."

- How she told Matt tonight that she wanted to be an eye doctor when she grows up, "then a mom."

- How awesome she is at Wii bowling.

- The way I can still tell if she's lying about having taken a nap or not, just based on her eyes.

- The dramatic hand gesturing when she talks.

- The fact that if we FaceTime with my mom, she will run away with the phone into her room, shut the door, and have a play date with her (over the phone) until the phone runs out of battery.

- How much she loves watching the Tour de France and how it makes her want to ride her bike every morning/noon/night.


Things I can't decide if I love or not:

- When I'm irritated at her, she will always say, "I love you Mom."  Then, "You look so beautiful Mom." And then, "You're my best friend."

- How absolutely insistent she is on me doing the final goodnight.  When I work late, she will stay up (silently) in her room until she hears my car lock and beep, and then stage whisper "moommmmmmmmy" when I walk in the door.

- When she was younger I was always telling her what our "plan" was for the day, so she knew what to expect, and to establish routine.  Now she cannot handle it when I don't have a motherf*cking plan for the following day.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.  IT PROBABLY INVOLVES MOM WORKING OUT, AND STARBUCKS.

- How she cannot figure out the difference between the phrase "this afternoon" and "tomorrow afternoon," and how goddamn stubborn she is about it.  I will be laying with her in bed, and she will say, "What are we doing this afternoon?"  And I'll say to her, "It's nighttime.  "This" afternoon is over.  Do you mean tomorrow afternoon?"  And she will say, "NO!  NO!  I SAID THIS AFTERNOON.  WHAT ARE WE DOING THIS AFTERNOON?"  And it repeats.


Things I absolutely do not love:

- The fact that she is not threatened, intimidated or scared of me in any way, shape or form.  That she thinks it's funny when I yell at her when I'm upset.  Don't tell me this is a sign of a serious psychological problem because I think we're past that point anyway.

- After eating approximately 3248970213894732 cheddar cheese sticks in the last six months, none of the wrappers have ever made it into the trash can without my assistance.

- That the only thing that works (usually) to get her to stop doing whatever naughty thing she's doing is me threatening to throw something into the trash can.  And the reason this works is because I have, in fact, thrown things into the trash can, and then we have watched the trash man take them away.  THERE, I'VE DOCUMENTED IT FOR YOU SO YOU CAN PROVE THIS TO YOUR THERAPIST.

- Talking back.

- Incessantly asking "why" just to piss me off.  After the 83rd time, is it even a word any more?

- Everything she does on purpose to make me mad.

- The fact that a four-year-old can manipulate me and make me so mad/irritated/livid/ready to run away.