Letter to the Editor

Dear Magical Gods of Motherhood,

It is 9:23 PM.  My three-year-old has spent the better part of the last hour arguing about why she doesn't have to go to bed.  Last night she wasn't asleep until after 10:00 PM, despite having been put to bed at 8:30.

We have moved back bedtime from 7:00 to 8:30.

We have instituted extra potty trips before lights out to try and eliminate that excuse.

We have threatened disposal of the pacifier that we should have actually disposed of quite a while ago (but let's not get into semantics).

Please OH DEAR MOTHER OF GOD, PLEASE do not tell me that the solution is to take away her afternoon nap, because she is a truly intolerable when she is tired/napless.  Like leave your child on a busy corner and walk away intolerable, lest you do something you really do regret.

I realize that you have been so kind to me until now (with bedtime, at least) as she was generally agreeable and non-combative about it before.  But what the hell happened in this last week?  I have not mercilessly killed any "helpful" insects, I have stopped at all yellow lights, and I didn't even yell today when she threw (literally) an entire glass of water on the floor.

I am at your mercy,
Emily.