Day 16

Yikes.  Day 16.  It's getting really, really hard.  I am someone who loves to be alone, but I guess there's more to it than that.  I love being alone, away from my family (sorry, guys) in the presence of strangers.  I love being alone at Starbucks or at Target or at Costco.  It's a stress reliever I no longer have access to. 

I've seen this a million places on the internet already, but it's worth repeating: I love not going anywhere when it's my choice to not go anywhere.  Similar to the "I never wanted to come, but I did want to be invited." 

I have officially not left the house in over a week for anything other than a walk with the dog or a run around the neighborhood.  It's a weird, weird feeling to not see much of civilization, apart from the idiots who are flouting any sort of social distancing and keep insisting on congregating in large groups with tons of their children.  I get it, my kid wants their friends, too, but buck up and just PARENT.  We all knew most people sucked at that before this; now it's just more apparent. 

Matt is the only one who has been going to the store -- and he just went to Costco on Friday, which would be the first time we had gone to any store at all in a week (I thought we ate a lot of food before -- we still eat a lot of food).  I am terrified to go anywhere, and make him sanitize everything he brings home, in addition to changing his clothes and showering.  He's currently on his way to try grocery pick up at Kroger.  I've always scoffed at this service before -- but we're giving it a try now, because, obvs. 

We rarely RARELY ate out before (truly the only restaurant I liked in Memphis burned down a few months ago, so I was like, fuck it!  Now there's really no need to go anywhere) so the adjustment to eating at home all the time is non-existent.

I really started to get dark about this whole thing a few days ago, and the days have been harder to get through (OK, it's the nights that are super hard for me to get through).  I know we have such a long road ahead, and it's hard to not feel all the feelings about it all. 

Today we made Bug try riding her bike again.  Before we got her out of the house there was lots of arguing and tantrum throwing, but we convinced her to go (via setting a passcode on her Kindle so she couldn't read with it) and after a bit of a shaky start, she was able to do it!  We need more practice to feel more comfortable, but the enormous empty parking lot up the street at the rec center is perfect for it.  We'd love to get her a new bike since her current one is a bit small, buuuuuuutttt.... that's not really in the cards right now. 

Today we:
Did a family walk with the dog
Went for a run
Lost power while we were gone, but luckily when she called us to tell us, we were just around the corner (had bad storms last night, so weird to lose it today)
Had power restored within about 15 minutes (whew says my freezer full of food)
Did two additional Peloton workouts after the run because I don't know what else to do with myself
Ate lunch
Argued about the bike
Got her out of the house with the bike
Almost cried watching her ride the bike (this is... just so huge for her on so many levels)
Walked home
She ate ice cream
Whiled away the afternoon with a mix of screens and one really really weird book (me)
It's only 5:12.. AHHHHH