It's really hard not to feel paranoid about absolutely everything. As we were watching TV last night, there were commercials with all sorts of people touching each other, and children playing together, and it's scary how quickly that behavior now seems so odd and forbidden. I hope that is not our permanent future, like how we can no longer accompany people to airline gates (OK, perhaps a bad analogy).
I am still angered and flummoxed by the amount of people ignoring all of the suggestions to stay home and stay away from people. There are continued pictures and videos of people crowding beaches in Florida.
The news today is about the proposed economic stimulus package, which includes cash payments to everyone, and also how there aren't enough ventilators, and how it turns out that people under the age of 60 are also getting really fucking sick and dying, too. Awesome! Everyone stay happy and also maybe could they send some Ativan or Xanax along with those checks?
Speaking of analogies, I think the one I had yesterday still holds fairly true, that this just feels like an accident in slow motion.
Matt tried to head to the county clerk's office this morning right away when it opened at 7:00, since I need new license plates, but there was a line snaking out the door, so he aborted that mission. He went to Kroger after that and found eggs (yay) but no yeast (random, yes, but figured it might incentivize me to actually try baking bread).
He also had to head up to work today to see if he could figure out a way to get his computer to better connect to the VPN at home. While up there, he went to a different county office which had no line, and got my plates -- so now my car is an official TN resident. He also stopped at Walmart on his way home to get me a set of free weights (yes, I know...) and try to find egg whites. None at that Walmart, and when he stopped to get gas at Costco (premium is under $2 a gallon now) he was going to run inside, but they were limiting how many people in the store at a time, and there was another long line into the parking lot, so he skipped it.
He came home and I made him take off all his clothes and Clorox wipe all of this things. It's so hard to know the level of danger -- is it really lurking everywhere? Are we all already infected? With such a lack of testing it's so hard to know. So far there have been three confirmed cases here in Shelby County -- two related to a trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, and a third one related to some sort of other travel. So in theory no real critical cases tied to community spread, but I still feel like it's risking life and limb to go out in public. I know this is a somewhat irrational take to have, and the reality should be somewhere in the middle, but with so many unknowns still, it's honestly hard to take a middle line.
I was commenting to a friend last night how a lot of people are freaking out about not being around their friends, where I am over here thinking.. this is actually kind of great? I'm sure my feelings on the matter are a mix of: I have a family at home, so am never really alone, and the idea of actually getting to be alone is kind of exciting; I am professional-level with wanting to cancel my plans with people all the time; With all of our moving, I don't have a real strong in-person friend base -- I'm used to continuing friendships over social media and text messaging. So it's maybe kind of sad when you really think about it, but also convenient for this time in our lives? All I know is that I'm 1000% unsympathetic to the people whining about it, and the people still getting together and hanging out (read: all of my coworkers).
I have decided to set a goal of 10k steps a day, which is not a goal I ever had even when I could leave the house, but at least gives me something to strive for each day with my regular workout studio closed, and not being on my feet for extended time due to work being closed, too. Who knows, I may get frustrated by this in another three days and abandon completely. It's just a futile attempt to balance out all the Stress Chocolate being consumed.
If it would just stop raining here, that would be great. This fucking rain. It would be more tolerable and easier to fight all these ominous feelings if the sun would just fucking come out. Our backyard is a mud pit (so she can't use the swing set even if she wanted to), and the dog needs a bath every time he comes in from a walk.
She's still super struggling with boredom, and bristles at every suggestion I have that involves math or reading, responding, "MOM! It's technically my spring break right now." And really, she's not wrong. I don't think they're going back to school for the rest of the school year, but we'll see what happens.
How are we still making SO MUCH LAUNDRY when we don't leave the house?!
No comments:
Post a Comment