Which is all in stark contrast to a) how I might have imagined myself as a stay-at-home mom, b) what I would have previously thought to be an acceptable way to be seen in public and c) what the last three days were like. I showered every day! I wore makeup! I had a new outfit on each day!
I have no excuse. I stay up far too late at night eating cereal straight from the box and sharting around on the internet to make getting up before Bug does to put myself even mildly "together" appealing.
Anyway. Virginia Beach is kind of "eh." I like poking around near base, and actually a bit near the Boardwalk, which in theory is tourist central. Any farther south is just gross and sprawl. Strip mall after strip mall (after strip club?). It's not very pretty to look at. My favorite part is maybe First Landing State Park which has some phenomenal trails, and where we ran 10 miles on Sunday morning.
I had to make sure my new running skirt was comfy. Post-run and ready to EAT (which I have not stopped since).
I got a new telephoto lens and I felt a bit like a paparazzi.
I hate seafood.
Seeing Matthew is nice, but it's also depressing and frustrating. I want my family to be back together. There is really no reason (per him) for him to even really be in school. It's much more a formality, which sucks. It was one thing when he was in boot camp and I had really no choice and no contact and we were just getting through it. Now that he's out it just sucks that much more and it's getting old. And we have nine more weeks. NINE MORE WEEKS. That's longer than boot camp was, and we're already five weeks into it.
We've run up an astronomical amount of credit card balances with the travel back and forth. And also the mold mitigation. And the moving of our stuff to a different storage locker. And they paying to my parents' landlord an absurd amount of money. It just makes me sad and stressed.
I stopped at the USO at the Norfolk airport and picked up a copy of Military Spouse. Some of it I cannot relate to, seeing as how we have yet to even move to a base, and my husband is not in combat. But a lot of what I was reading about the women whose husbands were on deployment I could relate to immediately. I understand that it's "great" that my husband is not in mortal danger 24 hours a day, and that I can fly and see him literally whenever I want, but it's still straining having him away. In a way it's almost harder that he's in this completely pointless assignment when I could USE HIM SO MUCH here at home. One woman mentioned that she feels guilty when she video chats with her husband overseas because she has nothing to talk to him about. That's what I feel like. What do I have to talk to him about? I really don't care what minutiae is happening at school, because it seem so pointless and inconsequential, and it's annoying that THAT is what he has to "deal with" on a daily basis -- if only we could all be so lucky. And I really don't want to recount the day here, because I'm doing my best to just get through it and not regurgitate it because then I might realize how pathetic it is. He would probably say something like, "I don't think it's pathetic; I want to know." But I still don't want to talk about it. So there's nothing. Except the move, which we don't have information on, and which usually ends in an argument anyway.
Flying into MSP last night felt so great. I was only gone three days but already I was feeling nostalgic for the ol' Twin Cities. Oh, to run around the lakes again! To drive highways labeled east/west that actually run east/west!
I'm sort of really into this show The Sing-Off. I neglected yoga tonight because continuing the food binge seemed like a better alternative, and really, after 10 trail miles yesterday, my ankles could probably use a break... which left time to watch TV. Singing is a talent that I wish I had.
Singing, yelling, what's the difference? I'm just glad you're home, mom.
No comments:
Post a Comment