Magic Internet Answering Service, can you help me with this? When Bug is alone with either Matt or myself, she is generally an amazing person to be with. She's mostly compliant, she's happy, and with a legitimately sound argument she can be convinced to do most things.
When she's with both of us, though, she loses her fucking mind. It makes hanging out as a family more stressful than enjoyable, and just makes me want to leave the house. Which is terrible, because I enjoy being a family, and feel guilty about wishing to be alone. I don't feel this as strongly when I'm alone with her -- just when we're all together. Is it because when I'm alone my body somehow knows subconsciously that I have no escape? And when Matt is along I know I could technically disappear if I wanted to?
If so, then my subconscious is in cahoots with my child.
For example. Right now, she is playing with the Magna Doodle at my feet. If Matt were here, she'd be crawling on top of me, whacking the keyboard or the mouse (because she knows that she's not supposed to do that) and generally being a pain in the ass. WHY IS THIS??
My birthday was this weekend. It was fun. But after sprawl-on-the-floor resistance to getting her shoes on, then going out to breakfast yesterday morning where she did nothing but misbehave (dramatically licking her playground-dirty hands on purpose, rubbing her eyes with her fingertips (big no-no after her surgery, which she knows), demanding to be held by me (not Matt, God-forbid) instead of walking, yelling indoors, the list goes on) I wanted nothing but to be alone.
I know that wanting to be alone is pretty normal for a Mom. My point is why does she turn into Dr. Jekyll when we're all together? Just be the nice, beautiful, fun child (with just enough naughty to keep me on my toes) that you are when we're alone just the two of us. Does she really feel that she needs to battle Matt for my attention that badly?? I'm mystified, and frustrated.
Saturday, though, Basie finally got groomed. Since his groomer is on Coronado, we stopped back at Spreckels Park, which we all love. Why does it have to be on Coronado?? I hate that bridge.
A park, YES!
We are so S.O.L. with this one in ten years. Five years. Tomorrow.
FINALLY, a walkway with a safe railing.
Then we found a friend, Ronan.
I almost felt embarrassed watching them, like they really needed private time.
Kids are so weird. I don't remember who fell over first, but the other had to repeat immediately.
And then this happened. Epic.
E went through it, too. I thought it was because she was figuring out the dynamics of authority in the family. Who is in charge? Will Dad back up Mom or give in?
ReplyDeleteDad gives in, usually ;)
DeleteMy munchkin is exactly the same way... a little blonde angel when it's just the two of us, or just her and Daddy, but when it's all of us she is so naughty. I'm wondering if it's our attitude more than hers... when we are one on one, like you said, there is no escape and she gets 100% attention. When we're all together, there is always that moment of hesitation when I'm all comfy on the couch and she asks me to come dance with her, and I'm like "damn it, why can't Daddy do it? I'm so tired". I wonder if she senses that and gets frustrated, then acts up to get attention? Speaking of "damn it," my usually difficult to understand child uses that term not only with perfect pronunciation (very rare), but also at the exact right moments. I don't know whether to be proud or mortified.
ReplyDeleteExactly! When we're all home together (and I swear it's sometimes worse when we're at home) and she asks me to do something, I always make Matt do it. Oh, you want to play? Ask Dad. You want milk? Ask Dad.
DeleteBe proud, mama. BE PROUD.